


Celestial Memoirs

by Leva



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Mating, Angel Wings, Angelic Grace, Bonding, Comedy, Creampie, Daddy Kink, Depression, Dom/sub, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Kink, Love, Love Bites, Male-Female Friendship, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Oral Sex, Pity, Pregnancy, Seduction, Semi-Public Sex, Shower Sex, Smut, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Wing Grooming, Wing Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 18:29:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14624520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leva/pseuds/Leva
Summary: Fluff and smut one-shots1.Castiel/Reader





	Celestial Memoirs

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to try writing smut so here I am. Have fun and I hope you like it. Also excuse any errors you find.

Smoking. It was bad, you knew that and you weren’t proud of it, but in moments like these there was nothing else that could calm your strained nerves and trembling limbs. The toxic smoke was like a drug to you, it made your mind hazy and suddenly the situation didn’t look as bad as it had actually been a few moments ago.

The job had been to take out a nest of vampires that you and the Winchesters had tracked down, none of you had thought the job would be easy, but you hadn’t expected to be ambushed. Hell, you almost would have had your head chewed off if Sam hadn’t acted quick and tackled the bloodthirsty sucker down before he had sunk his teeth in your neck.

“(Y/N)?”

You didn’t acknowledge the questioning call, just walked out of the old compound with rigged steps. You leaned back against the rusty iron wall and after a quick skim of the swampy grounds surrounding the now exterminated vampire lair you sighed a shaky, terrified sigh.

Not that you could see much anyway, the moon was clouded and there were no sources of light except for the headlights of the Impala.

Your hand shuffled inside the pockets of your jacket briefly before you pulled out a beat up packet of cigarettes and a lighter. You clamped one cigarette between your dry lips firmly, scared that if you didn’t hold it hard enough it would slip and fall to the ground and you knew that if that happened you would just break down and cry. You didn’t want that, you weren’t a weakling, you couldn’t let the brothers see you vulnerable. You were their partner and despite being younger you always acted like the big sister, always made sure they were alright and on several occasions had even saved their asses. You couldn’t cry, they counted on you, you couldn’t.

You cupped a patch of stiff fingers around the flame of the lighter, cutting off the cold wind before it could blow it out the flame and lit your cigarette. You couldn’t flick the lighter off more than once, the damned thing was on its last breath and every use counted. You needed to remember to buy a new one when you got back to the motel.

Taking in a deep breath of smoke, you leaned your head against the wall and exhaled slowly, eyes closing briefly despite your brain screaming for you to keep them open.

 _“There could be danger.”_ you thought _“Fuck it. Fuck everything, right now.”_

“What are you doing?”

You turned your head to the side, eyes half lidded and blank, and took in the angel’s worried look with very little concern.

“I’m smoking, Cas.” you answered, a note of mockery in your voice. He was well aware, you knew that, he was just giving you a chance to rethink your actions. As if you would, this was your way to blow off steam, Castiel hadn’t understood when he first saw you smoking and he wouldn’t understand now so you wouldn’t even bother to reason with him.

“This is killing you, (Y/N), why do you keep practicing it?” Castiel reached for the cigarette pinched between your fingers, but you pulled away and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, love, this is my way to calm down.” you admitted and turned your face away briefly to puff out the smoke before continuing “It’s the best solution I’ve come up with. If you want me to stop, find a better one and I promise on my dad’s grave I won’t touch another cigarette again.”

The sudden twinkle in the angel’s crystal blues caught you off guard. He cupped the hand you had clamped down on his shoulder in his own and looked you straight in the eyes.

“I will find a way, (Y/N), you have my word.” he laid your palm flat on his chest, letting you feel his steady heartbeat “I will not let you die.”

You were completely awestruck, silent and stiff, before a grin broke through your stoic expression and you couldn’t restrain the giggle that had built up in your throat.

You threw the bud on the ground and stepped on it before pulling your hand away from the angel.

“Oh, Cas.” you croaked out between staggered breaths and patted him on the head lovingly “You’re to die for.”

Castiel, a soldier of God, fierce and ready to fight to the death, was the most adorable being you had ever met in your short lived life. He was so confused when it came to humans, took every joke and tease literally and there was that one time when you had walked in on him commenting a porn channel he had stumbled upon on the TV. He was a dork, plain and simple, and you loved him to bits, even if a part of your love wasn’t exactly pure.

He didn’t understand humans and their habits, let alone the ones that were lethal – like smoking. He saw it as a threat, it didn’t register to him that it was helping you, but it makes sense, he didn’t _feel_ like humans did, after all.

“No, (Y/N).” the angel bore a serious tone and his eyes sharpened “I do not wish you to die for me.”

“No, Cas, it’s a – “ you were cut off briefly by a loud irritable honk.

“Cas, stop tryin’a swoon (Y/N) and get in.” Dean yelled through his rolled up window “We’re done here.”

You snorted at the confused expression on the angel’s face and patted him on the shoulder.

“I do not have such ill intensions towards you, (Y/N).” Castiel looked at you in concern “You know that, right?”

“Come on, holy bird.” you smiled and locked your arm with his, suppressing a grin from his stiffness at your contact, and pulled him towards the car “Let’s go.”

**~O~**

“You sure you’re alright, (Y/N)?”

You smiled and lifted the steaming coffee mug with a nod.

“I’m alive. I’ll survive, Sammy, don’t you worry.”

The younger Winchester spared you a short uncertain glance before resuming to stuff his clothes inside his duffle bag.

“Just….if there’s anything, you can tell me, you know that, right?”

“I’m fine.” you confirmed, a little more sternly than you had intended and you offered a reassuring smile to sweeten your answer.

It was early in the morning, you had woken up briefly after a night full of restlessness and nightmares, and the first thing you had done is get a cup of coffee and light a cigarette. You leaned over the frame of the opened window, enjoying the crisp fresh air and scrunched your nose when it mixed with the cigarette smoke.

God, you wished you could stop, just throw the packet away and be done with it, but every time you had a nightmare, every time a situation got out of hand it was the one thing that helped you think straight. What were you supposed to replace it with? A stress ball?

You heard a disapproving flick of the tongue behind you before a large jacket was draped over your shoulders. You pulled the jacket closer and glanced back with a knowing grin.

“Thanks, Dean.” you slurred over your coffee.

“Yeah, you better be.” he grumbled while lifting a foot on the coffee table to tie his shoe “I ain’t letting you get sick just because you’re too lazy to get dressed.”

You waved him off lightheartedly and indulged in your hot drink once more before planting your cigarette to your lips.

You had practically walked in half asleep in the boys’ room after scrambling off your bed while caring very little about your appearance. They had seen you with messy hair and in shorts and tacky tank-top more times than you could count so by now it didn’t strike them as odd and you were grateful because you really didn’t like being alone after your close to death experience. You had practically jumped out of your room and into theirs as soon as you had heard them awaken over the wall that separated you. But they didn’t need to know that.

“Has anyone seen Cas?” you looked back at Sam and shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly at his question.

“Last I saw ‘em was when we arrived at the motel.” you spoke in thought, tracing a finger over the rim of your mug “Then he just vanished –“

“ – I was researching ways to help (Y/N) cease her lethal smoking habit – “

“ – For fuck’s sake, Cas, stop doing that!” Dean practically jumped from his chair when the angel appeared behind him “Wait what?”

“I vowed to (Y/N) to help her and I have been researching the best ways to do so without inflicting harm to her mentally or physically.” Castiel stated in-a-matter-of-factly with a small, victorious smile, his hands clasped behind him.

“You…you’re joking.” Dean snorted.

“Why would I be…jocking?” the angel cocked his head to the side and his eyes squinted in confusion.

“Don’t mind him, Cas.” Sam piped in while zipping his bag up and turning to you briefly with some weird tinge of hope you really didn’t like “So what did you find out?”

“Yeah, Cas.” you smirked and waved the cigarette in front of your mouth almost tauntingly “What did you find?”

A couple of things happened in that split of a second, but it took your mind a lot longer to process them.

Castiel appeared in front of you, calm and composed with a spark of something you couldn’t recognize in his icy blue eyes, but it made your heart clench in excitement and anticipation regardless. His fingers wrapped around your elbow and gingerly traveled up to your wrist, making the hairs on your skin rise at the ghostly touch and your arms get coated in goosebumps.  The sensation of his warmth circled you and sent you into a delightful daze and you would’ve fallen to your weakened knees if he didn’t have you pressed firmly against him. You would have leaned your head to rest on his chest if he hadn’t raised your chin up for you to meet his gaze with a curled forefinger. You would have leaned up to press your lips against his if he wasn’t so set on leading this moment.

Key phrase was _would have_.

He guided your hand to the ash tray sitting outside the window seal and you heard the familiar sizzling of dying fire as he put out your cigarette.

You watched him with wide, still wet from a hard night eyes as he leaned down to caringly rub his nose against yours and your eyelids fell as you expected his lips to touch yours any moment, his breath so hot against your face it made your whole body shiver.

The moment was suffocating you, toying with your mind and your heart all the same. You were confused, having never been so close to the angel. Did you want this?

 _“Yes…”_ you thought, taking note of your own sudden desperation with nothing more than curiosity _“I want this…”_

You felt his large hand press against the side of your waist and let out a shaky breath. His stubble brushed against your cheek and a hot warmth flared in the pit of your stomach. Your hips clenched and pressed together firmly and you laid an unsure hand on the crook of his neck, desperate for more contact, but hesitant and doubtful that this was some sort of game. He mumbled something in your ear and you slightly tilted your head.

“What?” you whispered, hoping he’d heard you.

“I said.” he pulled away with the most innocent smile you had ever seen “Smoking is bad for you.”

“Cas, what the fuck man!” you yelped and pushed him away roughly, which earned you a surprised look with a sprinkle of hurt.

“Man that was intense even for me.” Dean whistled, trying his best to ease the situation, and winked at Castiel “Cas, my boy, you’re a natural.”

 “Cas, you don’t do that…” Sam started, getting the angel’s attention and giving you chance to escape, which you took instantly.

“Do…what?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“You know, fuck this.” you groaned, pushed past the stunned angel and flew out the door, your coffee – forgotten.

**~O~**

“(Y/N)…”

“Get out.” you said firmly, your back was turned to the intruder, but his rough voice made you well aware who it was.

“I didn’t know this act was considered seduction.” he tried but the sour look he received made him stop and instead stare at you apologetically.

“You don’t do that, Cas.” you stammered, flicking the cigarette in your hand hastily and without direction ”You can’t just lead someone on like that. It’s wrong, okay? It’s just wrong.”

Castiel stepped forward and hesitantly reached for your hands, afraid that you’d pull away and banish him again.

“I am sorry.” he looked down, refusing to meet your eyes “I did not know.”

“Well now you do.” you faked a laugh and pulled away from him when he tried to pry the cigarette from your fingers “No. I’m not falling for your celestial seduction methods again or for the sad puppy eyes.” you stepped back and your free hand clutched the fabric of your tank-top in front of your chest in an attempt to regain composure “Is this why you came? Pretend to apologize while you try to put out my smoke again?”

“No.” he stated simply and you snorted bitterly.

“Yeah, sure.” you grumbled “Like I’d believe you.”

“You do not understand.” Castiel said and sat on your bed, looking up at you with inviting eyes, you sighed and after a moment of contemplation nestled in next to him “My intensions towards you are sincere. I did not wish to hurt you. I want to make sure you’re safe and not harming yourself.”

“Cas…I am safe.” you turned to him completely, tucking your feet under your butt, failing to acknowledge the now dead cigarette bud in your hand “It’s just a bad habit, I’ll grow out of it. I just need some time, these things don’t happen overnight.” you leaned your head to the side and your eyebrows scrunched “Why did you go for such a method anyway? Seduction to stop smoking isn’t something I’ve ever heard of.”

“I must be honest with you. I thought of the method myself.” Castiel admitted “I…your thoughts….before you fall asleep and when you see me…they confuse me. I feel warmth and…I have a need to protect you despite there being no danger around.”

You inched closer at his words, a distinct thumping pulsing somewhere deep in your ears as your heart picked up and the blood it pumped rushed to your face.

“Cas…”

“My grace calls for you, it tries to reach you whenever we’re close, I can’t control it anymore, I don’t understand.” he stumbled over his words, it was the first time you’ve ever seen him act so lost and uncertain and despite how uncomfortable it made you, you crawled onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, cooing at him.

“Cas, it’s alright. We’ll figure it out, there’s gotta be explanation.” you soothed while gently running your nails over his scalp “I promise, we’ll figure it out. I’ll talk with Sam and Dean and we’ll research until we find something. I might’ve been cursed for all I know.”

“You don’t understand, I can barely restrain myself anymore.” the angel shook his head before resting it on your shoulder and taking in a deep breath “Your smell is intoxicating. I can’t…My wings burn, my grace lashes out…and you smell so divine…Father forgive me for my sinful thoughts.”

“Cas, you’re starting to worry me.” you murmured while looking him over, taking extra time on his eyes. Maybe he was possessed? His body was almost unbearably hot, you could almost see vapor coming off of him…no…that was his grace. He shuddered when you whipped your fingers through it and moaned meekly in your neck.

“(Y/N)…please.”

So it wasn’t possession. What then? A hex maybe?

“Do you like that?” you asked and let the cigarette bud fall on the floor before bringing your fingers to the intense hue of white and blue emitting from Castiel’s tanned coat.

“Yes…” he hissed out and his hands gripped your hips painfully tight, earning a surprised moan from you “Don’t make those sounds or I won’t be able to restrain myself any longer.”

“Restrain what, Cas?…” you breathed out, squealing when you were roughly forced on the bed with a growling angel on top of you “Oh…”

“I need you.” Cas spoke in a strained voice and the arms he had wrapped around you clawed at your flesh uncontrollably “Your soul beckons to me. Your body lures me in with your scent like I’m a brainless beast and I’m too weak to resist it.” he fought back, you could see it, his eyes were painted with restrain and you reached up to rub your hand over his stubble covered cheek supportively “You can’t imagine how many times I had to ease my vessel because I was too close to you for too long. My grace tried to reach for you as I fisted myself to the thought of you beneath me, squirming, calling my name, begging for me as I begged for you and finished in my hand.”

Knots formed in your belly at his wording and warmth pooled between your legs as you gingerly wrapped them around his waist and tried to pull him down on you, to feel him even through the layers of clothing separating you. He obliged, a guttural groan ripping through his chest and sending vibrations down your neck as his bulge pressed roughly against your growing wetness.

“Cas…I…I don’t…”

“I can smell your arousal.” he wailed shakily, nibbling on your neck with fervor “You’re already so wet…for me. Only for me.”

“Castiel…” you moaned meekly and ducked your hips against his, guided by instinct and the heat of the moment and earned yourself a harsh bite on the neck “Ow…”

Were you honestly going to fuck an angel in a dingy low price motel room while your brothers in arms were in the other room? Castiel was your soft spot, but sex? Did angels even have sex? How the hell did he know what he was doing?

You felt the angel jerk suddenly before he harshly pulled away, a wide eyed expression that you couldn’t read on his face.

“No…”

“Cas?”

“No!”

You were taken by surprise at his tone and scrambled farther in the bed as he stood up and backed away from you and with each step he took you felt your heart sink.

“What did I do?” you ask while you tried processing the whole situation, barely sustaining the strained sob in your throat.

_“What the hell is going on?”_

“I can’t…you’re only human…I can’t do this to you. Not like this.”

“Cas, wait, I – “ you reached out towards him, but he vanished with the sound of wings trailing behind him, leaving you alone “ – need you…”

Well, this was new. You had never been rejected by an angel before. It was not a nice feeling for sure, but you wouldn’t have given it much thought if it wasn’t Castiel who had rejected you. Sam and Dean practically shipped the two of you because you always seemed to be _hanging on Cas’ neck_ – as Dean would nicely put it. Still, here you were, rejected, all hopes broken. Not that you had much hope to begin with, he was an angel and from what he had told you angels did not feel the same emotions humans did. It was only natural for him to push you away, however, he was the one that had initiated the whole ordeal so what  was his deal.

It didn’t make any sense to you, nothing did, and the painful prickling in your chest wasn’t assessing your ponderings.

You hadn’t noticed when it had started to rain outside or the thunder that basically wracked your room. You hadn’t noticed the dampness that trickled down your face until it hit your bare hips.

You wiped the salty tears away harshly, sniffling back the pain that was coursing through you, the pain of rejection, of denial, and then cleared your throat before standing up and lighting a cigarette – your only salvation, the only thing that didn’t hurt.

“Castiel…” you forced out in a hushed, but venomous whisper “Wherever you are…fuck you.”

**~O~**

It has been weeks or maybe months? At one point you had stopped counting and just moved on, instead delving into your research for the idiotic jerk of an angel that had left you exposed and vulnerable and had disappeared to do God knows what. Still, you had promised to get to the bottom of things and curse your good memory you remembered every word he had said about how he was feeling. You kept your promises; that was the only good thing about you.

Your room was filled with books, the walls covered in pinned up images and pieces of information, there were empty carton coffee cups and plastic bags scattered all over the floor, empty dirty plates were piled all around you and the air smelled of cigarette smoke despite you opening your widow every day to let the stale smell out.

You barely slept and because of that you were very easily irritated, you had even lashed out at the brothers a couple of times, but after you had shared with them what had happened somehow, despite their nature, they had understood and had even helped in the beginning. However, their jobs needed attention as well, so you found yourself delving in books and old folklore about angels while they went out to hunt, but when they returned it was often with a book or some information about angels and you were sincerely grateful for that. They were trying their best to help you and you felt so lucky to have them by your side. They were your family, your bothers, and seeing them so worked up about something just because you were interested in it was heartwarming.

With a haggard sigh you stood from your chair and stretched stiffly, earning a few satisfying pops from your back and neck. A shower to freshen up sounded appealing to you so you walked around the mess on the floor and reached for you towel.

You decided on a fully fledged bubble bath once you stepped in the bathroom, there were no curtains, but the brothers were out on a hunt and heavens knew you needed to relax a bit so you poured Dean’s lavender smelling soap in the bathtub as it was filling and stepped in with a pleased exhale. Your head rested on the edge of the tub as you relaxed in the heat of the water, feeling it soak in your strained limbs and do its wonders.

Sky blue eyes invaded your mind as soon as you closed yours and your face scrunched in irritation. However, your heart fluttered like a butterfly at the thought of him and despite your brain practically booming over the fact that he didn’t deserve your attention or time you were weak, you were weak, you admitted it and let your imagination wonder. You missed him even if he had been an assbutt to you and before you could comprehend your actions his name rolled off your tongue in the sweetest of whispers.

Your eyes shot open in embarrassment before you reached a hand to pinch the bridge of your nose.

Out of all the hot guys you have met it just had to be a freaking angel that wiggled his way in your heart. Of course. Who would want to settle for normal humans anyway?

“(Y/N)?”

You yelled frantically and splashed around the water, grabbing the soap bottle resting to your right before throwing it at the intruder.

“Casteil stop doing that! Oh God I almost had a heart attack!”

“My apologies.” he merely stated, ducking when the soap bottle came hurtling his way.

“What are you doing here?” you almost snarled out, sinking deeper in the tub when the realization of how bare and vulnerable you were sunk in.

“You…called for me, (Y/N).” he said and stepped closer before kneeling next to your head “And I came to you. We need to talk.”

“Now?” you blurted, gesturing to your current position and scowling at the curt nod you received.

“Yes, I need you to know what I have been doing while away and I’d rather it be now.”

“You sure this can’t wait?” you asked again, only to groan at his stoic expression “Fine. ’m listening, angel boy.” you crossed your arms childishly and your eyes strayed away from his. You didn’t want to look at him, you were still bitter, even more so because of his lack of visits in the past few months. He didn’t deserve your focus, as hardheaded as it looked you were too prideful to just let things go.

“I spoke with my brothers of everything that occurred and – “ he paused, his voice catching uncertainty, but he pressed on, he was here for you, he needed you to at least know before giving you the freedom to choose what to do “ – When my Father created us we had only one purpose and that was to protect Heaven and serve him. Then he created humans and after observing their interactions he…He decided to make a gift for his angels. So he created a soulmate for each of us individually to give us meaning if he were to ever step off his throne.”

“Yeah and I’m yours, Cas.” you finished off for him, snorting at his dumbfounded expression “I told you I’d research. I promised you.”

“Yes, but that isn’t everything.” the angel pressed his palm against your cheek, an action which had been common between the two of you before he had vanished, and you finally turned to look at him, doing your best to no lose yourself in his gentle touches “No angel has ever found their soulmate. None…That is why we thought it was simply a legend. I thought it was just a legend….until I met you.”

You shifted in your spot, rising a bit until the water was just above your breasts and after the shock from the information subsided…you laughed.

“In all these countless years, centuries, your brothers haven’t been able to find a single soulmate? Damn, you guys are bad at this.”

“Sadly we are. We never suspected our soulmates to lie within human bodies, but here you are. My missing half.” he bore a soft smile as he spoke and you melted right into it before showing off your pearly whites.

“So all this time you were researching?” you asked and he chuckled with a shake of his head.

“I have never searched for answers more intently in my existence, but after everything failed to give me answers I sought out my brothers and then I learned.” his eyes bowed briefly “I am so sorry, (Y/N). I was confused, I was scared I would hurt you and I couldn’t bear the thought yet my body….my grace, they yearned for you so much I couldn’t control myself. At least now I understand why.”

“Sweet talker.” you mocked cheekily and ran your fingers over the ones he had resting against your face “Now, soulmate, if you don’t mind I need to wash up. Get out.”

**~O~**

When you returned to your room you almost dropped your towel in shock – it was spotless.

“Caaaas.” you voiced and the angel’s head poked from behind your laptop.

“Yes?” he asked innocently, confused as always.

“I was going to clean up myself. You didn’t need to do this, ya know.”

“I know.” he nodded with a small smile.

“Well ummm, thank you.” you nodded and strode lazily towards him “Whatcha looking at?” you ask while sneaking a peak over his shoulder and suppressed a giggle “Cas, why are you looking up kissing techniques?”

“To know how to express my emotions towards you.” he answered and stood up to face you “Do I have your permission to kiss you, (Y/N)?”

“I, well – I, ugmmm…Cas, you don’t ask for permission like that.” you laughed awkwardly and wrapped your arms around his neck “But yeah, you have my permission.”

You felt his hands lie gingerly on your waist and you sucked in a choppy breath before leaning in.

“Cas, are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes…” he answered, barely coherent, and nodded more to himself than you “As long as you want it.”

You pressed your lips against his, unsure, giving him time to pull away, you didn’t need him to decide he couldn’t do it when you were dry humping again. You needed this though, you needed him. Your hands slid from his neck and wrapped around his upper back, clutching at the tanned coat, hoping that it would show him how much you had fucking missed him while he was gone. You want to show him lonely you had been, how no man had come close to him no matter how many drinks you had to numb the empty pit that nagged in your chest.

But he was here now and you’d be damned if you let him leave again.

“I can hear you.” he spoke after pulling away and rested his forehead against yours “I missed you. I missed you so much, (Y/N), I won’t leave you, I promise.”

“Cas, we talked about this with the boys you can’t just read people’s minds like that.” you giggled and ran your fingers over his back tenderly.

“I am not, we’re connected.” He said before a thought struck him and he stepped away from your welcoming arms “But I never asked you if you wanted this – us. We might be connected, but that does not mean you have to do this, any of this.” he looked at you with those breathtaking eyes that filled with regret as the words continued to roll from his tongue, he wanted you to want him, but he couldn’t force you, he didn’t want to “I’m connected to you, (Y/N), as you are to me, but you are human, your species works differently and I cannot force my ways onto you. You can say no, you have the freedom, and even if you…reject me…I will still stay by your side and protect you with my life. Please.” he clasped your hands in his “Please don’t do this because of me.”

“Castiel,” you began and linked your fingers with his “you’re an idiot.”

“I…”

“You’re a blind idiot is what you are.” you let your lips curl in a sour smile and tried to retain your train of thought and not bask in how perfect your fingers molded together “All this time you spent with us, me and the boys, you never even once noticed how I look at you. You never questioned why I always tried to be as close to you as possible, to touch you every chance I got. You said it yourself, you heard me, Cas, you heard me calling your name at night. I touched – “ you bit your lip, forcing back the hiccup that threatened to spill and make things even more difficult. Your heart was raging, your mind was spinning, you felt close to feinting, but you didn’t budge, you wouldn’t until you laid everything on the table, you weren’t a lovesick high school girl, you could do this “ – I touched myself thinking about you. I went to sleep hugging my pillow and wishing it was you. I need you, Castiel, and I’m just as fucking bound to you as you are to me so don’t you dare tell me I have a choice because I don’t. I love you and that isn’t going to change.”

You took in the shock that plastered itself on his face head on, aware of what you had said and how utterly stupid it sounded, but right now you didn’t care. You had missed him so much and now you were praying all this wasn’t just a dream, and even if it was you just wanted to finally let it out, let everything out, admit it to yourself after denying it for so long. Castiel, he was your everything, he meant the world to you, but how could you have said anything? He was no normal human, hell, he wasn’t even a demon. He was an angel, how was he supposed to fall in love with a simple mud monkey like you?

But now things were different. If he was right – you were soul mates and you didn’t need to hide your feelings anymore, at least you hoped you didn’t.

“ I…” Castiel choked out, suppressing the shock before pressing his lips to your parted ones and lovingly stroking his nose against yours “I love you too. I love you….I love you…” he kept chanting in a barely notable whisper.

You didn’t stop the sugared giggle that escaped you and pecked the angel’s nose playfully.

“Castiel…”

“(Y/N)…” you felt a shudder wrack through him “Your soul beckons to me…”

“Trust me it’s not just my soul, angel boy.” you snorted before latching your mouth hungrily to his and slipping your tongue past his rough lips and swirled it with his, moaning softly and pulling him closer. You pushed the trench coat off his shoulders and when he reached for the tie you laid a firm hand over his “Leave it.”

“(Y/N), your smell is intoxicating me.” he practically snarled and bit your neck viciously, making you cry out softly and clutch onto his shoulders “The way you touched yourself…I heard every filthy thought that passed by your head. I laid in bed, stroking myself as I listened to you plead for me to take you, to fill you with my seed as only a single wall separated us. I heard every last bit of it.”

“Oh, Cas…” you whimpered and tugged him towards your bed “Keep talking like that and I’ll finish before we start.”

His shirt was quickly undone and tossed aside, the tie he – kept on by your request. You smirked at his obedience, enjoying it for as long as it lasted before his dominating side took over. He loomed over you, groaning when you racked your nails over his back and nearly screaming when you passed two specific spots. He jerked back for a moment, his eyes half lidded and blurry of anticipation and lust and he pleaded in your ear to do it again.

“Cas why are you so sensitive there?” you asked through clawed strokes and he grumbled against your neck, breaking from his half-trance state.

“My wings.”

“Your wings – Oh God!” you gasped when the mass of black feathers appeared above you – thick, large and magnificent “Oh…they’re…amazing.” you gawked and reached out to touch them “Can I?”

“Please yes.” his choppy answer was followed by a throaty grumble and his head sunk in the crook of your neck again “I’m sorry. My wings are very sensitive and…no one has touched them in millennia. I – Ah! Please, d-don’t stop. Father, forgive me…for I will sin tonight…”

Another harsh bite, another high-pitched squeal. He sucked feverishly on the spot he had bitten, gazing proudly once he thought his work complete.

“Did you just give me a hickey?” you mused out loud vaguely, earning an alluring, teasing chuckle.

“I mark what is mine.”

“Good God, Castiel…” you moaned in earnest when he thrusted against you instinctively, his wings shuddering from the coarse friction “More!”

“Is that good?” the angel hissed while his tongue lapped hungrily at the skin on your neck and he pressed his growing bulge painfully hard against your pulsing sex and the animalistic sound he made sent your mind into a haze.

“C-Castiel!”

Hooded eyes rose slowly, almost intimidatingly, to stare at you, his look was predatory and you mewled in silent approval before spreading your legs farther apart to allow more friction, more of him to touch you. You wanted every inch of him against you.

His wings enveloped you in darkness and you saw only the primal glow in his icy eyes that seemed to darken with lust the more you gazed up at him. He was lost in his own want, he was bathed in sin and it was because of you.

You twisted the tangled mess of huffs and moans that the two of you were and took in your now dominating position on top of him. His wings pressed against your back urging you down to meet him as his longing lips parted, begging you to claim them. You blinked away the haziness before taking off your now damp towel, letting your swollen and glossy with sweat breasts glister in what light shone on them from between the black feathers and then you leaned down.

The contact of your heated skin against his hurled you in a fit of lust and as you kissed you bit hard onto the angel’s lower lip, earning a satisfying whine from him as his hands gripped firmly onto your exposed hips and travelled further to your ass where he began to knead greedily.

“Fuck, Cas!” you whimpered against his lips and gripped the tie around his neck, almost chokingly tight. His surprised look made your core buzz in excitement. You turned his head to the side sucking mercilessly on his exposed neck to return the present he had left on yours and when you were satisfied with the length and color of the mark you smirked “Mine.”

“Yours…” he huffed out, his eyes low, examining something with needy orbs and when you traced his gaze you hummed, pleased with the sight.

A painfully large bulge straining his pants, wet stains around it as more translucent slick juices dripped from your exposed, pulsing cunt.

“Do you like my cunt, angel?” you asked innocently, tugging playfully at the blue fabric secured between your fingers.

“I – Y-yes.” he stammered and his head fell back onto the mattress when you released his tie.

“Good.” you purred and slammed down on his cock, causing him to yelp and arch his back shamelessly “Oh my! So sensitive.”

His hips ducked against you and the rattling sound that escaped you had him burning with incomprehensible need for more. He forced you down on himself, the muscles on his arms strained painfully tight and his wings shaking uncontrollably around you. Your fingers scrolled through the soft feathers, pulling, _teasing_ , making him lose himself in the moment as jolts of pleasure raked through him like a storm.

Your chest rose and fell with staggered breaths, your breasts jumping every time he forced you down on him while he thrust up. He watched them intensely as they bounced with a sharp glint in his hued blues, which closed tightly when you started to rub repeatedly against him, coating his pants with your slickness, hoping it would drench his cock just as much as the fabric restraining it.

You sank your nails in his chest and slid them down, red marks following close behind as a guttural noise vibrated somewhere in the angel’s belly and send waves of tingles in your core, making you squirm in your seat atop him.

“Please…(Y/N).” he begged blatantly and his hands settled on your waist, drawing lazy patterns along the hot skin “Please. Let me touch you.”

You became limp and were settled on your back when he caught onto your subtle permission. Your thighs were spread as far as they allowed, the pillows of your toes pressed firmly against the ground as a tuft of black hair nestled before your cunt. Blue eyes perked up to meet yours and you bit your bottom lip in a new fond vital pain of deprivation that tied knot in your hips. Your legs were shaking before he had even started to touch you.

“Oh fuck yes, Cas…” you practically sobbed in relief when he gave you a solemn lick and laid a hand on his head, fingers gripping his soft hair viciously as your other hand grasped the sheets beneath you for support.

He worked his way around your dripping folds, moaning at the wetness and sending vibration jostling your entire body. His tongue circled your clit teasingly and you hiccupped before clenching your teeth and harshly bringing his face closer to your core, desperate for more. He obeyed pressing his tongue fully against your nub and sliding it up and down slowly, feeling you pulse against him as your haggard moans and please rang in his ears.

He palmed his leaking cock as he continued, purring into your sensitive cunt as his hand roughened over his bulge. He needed release, but not before you. You would cumm first, you would always cumm first!

The heat in your lower stomach was unbearable, a knot, tied tight and pulling viciously at your nerves. Your grip on his hair tightened, causing the angel to lament in your wetness and dart his tongue more acutely, just as desperate for your release as you were. Your hips ducked against him and started to tremble uncontrollably and close until he gripped them with both his hands and spread them back fully.  He kept them still and lapped at your clit hungrily, refusing to let them go despite the pain you felt from the strain. Feathers tickled your skin tauntingly and you bit back a yelp from the overwhelming sensation; you couldn’t take it anymore, this was too much.

“Cas I...” you sobbed between shallow breaths and licked your lips gingerly when his piercing eyes met yours with that familiar predatory look “I’m gonna – “

“ – Cumm for me, little human. Cumm for your mate!” his sharp breath sent shivers up your spine and the words threw you off the edge in an instant, those fucking dirty, sinful, delicious words.

You screamed a guttural and inhuman scream, one you had never heard yourself let loose before, one that was like a melody to Castiel. Your whole body thrust against his hot tongue as the orgasm raged through you like lightning. Your back arched so high the angel felt a pang of worry that it would snap, your toes dug in the carpeted ground and the hand that had been gripping the sheets was shifted to cover your eyes in the crook of your elbow as you bellowed like a shameless whore, riding out your bliss flagrantly.

“Castiel! Castiel! CASTIEL!!!” juices splurged from your entrance only to end inside the angel’s mouth as he suckled at your spent cunt, drinking like a madman “Oh fuck! FUCK!”

You fell slowly back to reality, uncaring that your body didn’t listen to your brain and continued to convulse and spasm. You wanted to say something, but you were at a loss of words and instead stared absentmindedly at the ceiling above.

Soft kisses trailed along one of your hips as it shivered uncontrollably, muscles clenching painfully wherever his lips connected with your skin. You shone with sweat, your eyes turned away from Castiel as a blush burned your whole face, your stomach heaved shakily with each deep breath you took and the angel marveled at his work, sighing in content.

“You taste divine, (Y/N).” he licked his lips, saving the still fresh taste of your orgasm on his tongue and released your hips, hearing a thankful puff of air from you shortly after “Are you alright?”

You looked at him through blurred vision – awestruck, and pulled him over your trembling form by his tie.

“Are you kidding? Cas that was…wow…Where did you learn to do that?” you asked while trailing your fingers over his wings, down his chest only to stop over his restrained cock.

“I did not research only on soulmates.”  he answered sheepishly, being cut off by your mouth pressing against his as you tasted yourself inside his mouth, swallowing the heavy groan that ripped through him.

Your cunt twitched in eagerness as you ran your nails over his bulge, despite your orgasm you still wanted him, you wanted more of him, all of him – naked, primal, panting and hollering for you as he lost himself in your tight folds. Fuck, you wanted him so bad.

You wrapped your legs around his torso and pulled him down on you, positioning his tip over your steaming entrance despite the fabric over him. He huffed, his arms clutching your shoulders and keeping you in place as he forced himself against you, whimpering out a cry of much needed contact. He needed you badly, as bad as you needed him, and it was making you go crazy.

You gripped his wings firmly and pulled them towards you, making him yelp and bow his head.

“Fuck me, angel.”

“Yes, my mate.” he exhaled and once you let go of his wings he rose to unbuckle his pants “Anything for my mate. Anything.”

The last layers of clothing were discarded, left atop the pile you had created earlier, but he still kept that damn tie on and you loved him for it. His cock dribbled with precum and you watched lovingly as he stroked himself softly before reaching out to rub your thumb over his tip and lather his length with the oozy wetness. The breath he sucked in ripped through you and hit your gut and you felt your cunt spurt a handful of juices – ready, wanting, needing to be filled.

One hand found peace on his cheek, savoring the roughness of his stubble as eyes watched his lips tremble before parting to release a strained exhale. Castiel’s wings spread wide, looming over you, protecting you from the eyes of anyone who would dare look at his mate from above, his brother didn’t deserve to see you like this, you were his, you were fucking _his_ and he had the mark to prove it to anyone who dared to question _._ Breaths turned shallow with excitement as the angel lowered himself on you, his hips adjusted briefly before he moaned suddenly as you gripped a firm clasp on his cock and readied him at your expecting entrance.

His tip brushed against your slick core and you almost sobbed out a plea, but stuffed it down your throat and instead tugged on the angel’s tie to bring him into a chaste kiss, one of boiling desire. How could he deny you after such a kiss?

“Oh Father yes!” he thrust in, eyes burning bright like stars and the grace he had been restraining so hard let free to linger over you as he fucked his way to a much sought after release “You’re heaven, (Y/N), you’re heaven on Earth.”

His grace circled around your erect nipples, pinching and nibbling at your sensitive flesh and making you jerk to the side before two rough hands grabbed onto your hips, refraining you from moving. White hue spread over you like a fog, teasing every bud of nerves it reached and having you squirm pathetically as your cunt clenched around Castiel’s cock. Wings were protectively circled around you and you couldn’t smell anything but the angel, your brain was becoming blank again – a puddle of slurred images, intense needs and a thirst for more. Black feathers trailed against your skin, soaking in your sweat and brushing away at the grace that ravaged you.

“Oh fucking hell, Castiel!” you hollered through a mixture of mewls and moans and the angel locked his eyes onto yours intensely, crushing what little control you thought you had over him with a single dominating look.

“Scream my name, (Y/N). Let the Heavens hear you belong to me! Let my brothers hear you belong to me! Let everyone hear! Demon, angel and human. You’re mine. You’re mine and no one will take you away from me!” he roared and lunged at your breasts, discarding his grace and biting menacingly, desperately, leaving marks wherever his predatory sight landed, every inch of skin he found he covered with marks, everywhere, neck, breasts, shoulders, arms…everywhere.

“Castiel! Castiel!” you cried through a sob and dug your nails in his flesh before he shifted upwards, cupping one of your hands and laying it over his heart, which beat wildly against your ribs.

“My heart is yours, my grace, my wings, my existence is yours.”

You were thrown back with every thrust and if it weren't for the angel’s firm grip on you, you would have hit the headboard by now. His wings shuddered uncontrollably at your touch as you ghosted your fingertips over them, satisfied with the twisted expression of ecstasy on Castiel’s face.

His grace enveloped your clit in a heated buzzing pocket and you threw your head back at the sensation, clenching your teeth as hisses of pleasure escaped you and reached Cas’ ears. His eyes skimmed over you caringly, lustfully, memorizing every inch of you covered in your sweat and his grace as he pounded inside you, making your slick juices squirt out of you and onto his heated crotch, milking his skin with your scent. You were heavenly, divine, celestial, and you were all his.

His thrusts became erratic as his release neared and he let out a warning moan, watching as it reached your ears and caused you to let out a cry before you harshly pulled him down, tie wrapped around your hand as you kept it in a knuckle whitening grip.

“My angel. Mine!” you sneered in his face and bit onto his neck, sucking rabidly as your free hand sunk in his wing and clutched onto the feathers for dear life.

“Yes. Yours.” he stammered, barely coherent, eyes tightly shut as he whiffed in your sweet smell and feverishly kissed the bruised skin of your neck “I am yours. Your angel. Yours.”

“I’m gonna cumm, Cas.” you puffed and screeched at the spot he hit inside you “I’m gonna cumm…Oh!”

His pace quickened, his thrusts became animalistic and you lost yourself in the moment. Your ears screamed but you still heard his voice in the distance – pleading for you to release all over him, to cover his length in your sweet juices and yell his name until your voice became hoarse with strain. Your toes curled as the knot in your core intensified, you couldn’t take it anymore, you were at the brink of tears, you needed release. His grace mauled your hypersensitive clit, you could almost feel it biting, grazing with force as Castiel became violent, untamed, and carnal by his nearing end.

“Castiel! Castiel! CASTIEL!”

Whiteness filled your sight as something snapped deep within you and a dire scream ripped itself out of your chest, cutting his last string of restrain. Waves of pleasure washed over you, drowning your senses until nothing existed except for the godly, brute feeling in your stomach and the distinct hammering of your heart. You sunk in your high, losing track of everything as the blinding feeling overwhelmed you, taking away your breath for a moment.

  
"(Y/N)!!!" he bellowed after you, his nails sunken in your flesh, leaving bruises, scratches, indicators you were his property.

The lightbulb above you burst, the windows cracked, hell you heard you damn laptop screech and the screen shatter. Shards spilled all over the room like snow, trying to reach you, but Cas’ wings prevented them, kept you safe and unharmed by anything aside from himself.

He chanted in Enochian, stammering even in his own language, the only thing you could understand was your name being repeated over and over again as he rode his release. Filling you to the brim with his hot seed, he gave a last few thrusts before stilling completely and watched with hazy eyes as whiteness oozed out of you and onto his crotch.

He shook his wings, the glass shards falling from between his feathers and rested his head between your breasts, being overcome by a handful of shudders every once in a while. His grace crept around you, this time delicately, and nipped at the scratches and bites covering your skin, healing them with the utmost care.

“Cas, make it stop.” you pleaded meekly while petting the angel and diving your fingers in his hair.

“But, (Y/N), I’ve damaged you so much…I…” he sat up and looked over you, now gazing at the marks with concern “I am so sorry. I did not know I had been so….brutal.”

He ran a shaky finger over one of the many displayed bites and sighed to himself.

“I should have been more careful.”

You scoffed at his expression.

“Listen, assbutt. I’m keeping these bruises so call your grace off. I want to remember this, all of this. I want to know I’m yours, I like it.” you pulled at his tie playfully “Now get your head back here and don’t ruin this moment, it’s too perfect.”

“I am still sorry.”

“I know you are.” you snorted and hugged him closer, stuffing his face in your breasts so he couldn’t apologize anymore “But I wanted this, I wanted you, and I would have said something if I didn’t like it, Cas, I’m not a little girl.”

You felt a nod against your boob and sighed.

**~O~**

 

The rest of the day you spent in bed, resting against your angel as he whispered loving words in your ear and peppered your face with kisses. Your body ached and whenever you made a pained expression while shifting under the sheets Castiel would instantly offer to heal you, which you would decline with a smile. You didn’t want the bruises away, you enjoyed them and the memories they brought you.

“My angel…” you sighed in content while savoring the feeling of Castiel’s fingers delicately brushing against your cheek.

“Yes, my grace.”

You smiled sweetly at the new nickname and pressed your lips softly against his, your fingers tapping cheekily against his chest as Castiel pulled you closer into him, basking in your warm, gentle presence.

It was in the late hours of the afternoon that you left the bed to greet the boys as they had finally arrived after their hunt. You slipped into a white tank-top and an old pair of sweatpants and padded your way to the kitchen barefoot, savoring the cool feeling of the floor beneath.

The Winchesters perked up at the familiar footsteps approaching them and turned to see you in all your baggy glory, smiling widely at them.

“Hey, bros. How’d the hunt go?” you asked nonchalantly and shuffled for an ice tea bottle in the fridge.

“Went good, hey by the way, we found a book about – What the fuck happened to you?!” Dean nearly dropped his newly opened beer when he saw the bruises around your neck and arms “Did someone attack you? (Y/N) what the hell!”

Sam turned away from his laptop, gawking at you wide-eyed. He stood up in a blink and grabbed your hand and lifted it up in inspection before looking at you with a harsh look.

“Who did this to you?”

“Is okay. No biggie.” you dismissed them and sat opposite of Dean, tea bottle in hand “I just had sex, that’s all.” you shrugged with a cheeky smile and chugged down your drink, taking big thirsty swigs with a little too much satisfaction. God, everything tasted better after sex.

“That’s called domestic violence, (Y/N) not sex.” Dean protested “Who the hell did this?”

“You worry too much.” you laughed and waved your hand at him.

“Hello Sam, Dean.” Castiel greeted as he stepped in the kitchen adorned with his usual uniform, but missing his trench coat.

“Cas, what the hell happened to, (Y/N)? Aren’t you supposed to protect us? Look at her! She looks like she got ganked by a nest of vampires!”

“I’m afraid her wounds are my fault.” Cas explained calmly “I lost control over myself, but I offered to heal them, however (Y/N) refused and I respect her decision.”

“What…No. You gotta be kidding me. You banged an angel?” Dean almost choked on his beer and looked at you disheveled, a hand wiping away what little of his drink had slipped past his teeth “You banged Cas? For real?”

“She did not bang me, Dean. She had sex with me.”

“It’s an expression, Cas.” Sam suppressed a snort, glancing every now and then at the scratches and bite marks visible on your arms “Well, um, congratulations, I guess.”

“Thanks” you laughed and reached for the cigarette packet lying on the counter.

Your hand hesitated, as if stung, and after a moment of contemplation you pulled away and settled back on your tea, suppressing the urge to smoke as best as you could. No, you weren’t going to smoke anymore, you didn’t need to, not when you had an angel at your disposal.

 _“Heh, who knew.”_ you giggled inwardly “ _Cas actually found a way to stop my habit.”_

“So, ugh…you kids used protection?”

You cocked your head to the side at Dean’s question.

“Ammm, no? I don’t think I can get pregnant, I mean, Cas is an angel, ya know.”

“Actually, you can.” Castiel stated casually, earning himself three blank expressions.

“Cas…” Dean growled, a deadly glare on his face “If you knocked up my little sister I’m gonna shove an angel blade up your ass.”


End file.
